The Werewolf's Wife Confesses

The night of Yom Kippur her dreams
Tore madly her red dressing-gown
Forsaking sash to rip the seams
They left her naked, beaten down.

And o'er her womb, a pile of lies
Exposed for first time to the light
You found her there, your flashing eyes
Wild with the treachery of night.

Your sweet lips snarled, you gnashed your teeth,
Forced forth the truths she had denied;
Your white-faced love cowered underneath
Your feral form; you howled, she cried.

From pitch-dark space behind her tears
The guilty one fell into space
The room was gone, and in her ears
An angel noise; she fled this place.

And just before she woke she saw
She climbed a bridge a mile high,
Leapt, praying she would not touch down
That in kind air, at last, she'd die.

this poem is actually Atonement, One Week Late, Version 2.0
photograph by Janey Phu Le


Scott said...

Oh, I am loving to see you rhyme right now. I've been laboring over a crappy sonnet for days.

some places with potentially awkward rhythms: "Tore madly..." maybe "Madly tore" and drop red into the next line?

"Exposed for the..." maybe drop "the"?

the transition to the car scene is maybe too abrupt? and your last line was better before about touching down. prayed she'd die is a bit heavy-handed.

that was a lot of 'useful' criticism, maybe i should have lead in with: your shit is tight!

i like this poem. and so will nick. i think this time we are going to agree!

Kate Horowitz said...

"Rhyme is dangerous," said my professor last night. "Rhyme will lead you down a dark alley and beat you with bricks."

I tend to agree, but I think this one came out pretty okay, and I even had a good time writing it. Maybe rhyme isn't allllll bad.

Katie said...

I really liked the first one, (it haunted me) but I like this one even more. It's very vivid (in a good way).

Anonymous said...

I kinda agree w/ Katie... I did like the Atonement one too. I feel like they are both really different even if they are versions of one another... It's all very...interesting.


Mr. Apron said...

I have some advice for your professor:

"Rhymes with bricks are far less dangerous than coked-out, homeless neanderthals with bricks."

Congratulations on your imepending publication.

It's nice to know there is a market for quality work amidst the raging sea of horseyshit.

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